February 2012
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Just because she likes the same bizzaro crap you...
I don’t want to rehash old wounds or even reconnect for that matter but I figured I had some things on my mind that I wanted to try and make sense of.
I know I’m the bad guy in this situation, and I can accept it. I really thought that I did love you, my intentions were not meant to be bad. I think at that point in my life, I loved the thought of you or maybe I was infatuated.
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I’ve seen better days, but I have also seen worse. In that sense, I should be very greatful.
I’m trying to make changes but I don’t know how or where I should begin. I’ve always struggled with communicating with people. In my head I know exactly what I want to say, but when the time comes to open my mouth, I trip all over my own thoughts and the words are just unable to...
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January 2012
23 posts
I love when decisions are made for me. I love living by the statement “what’s mean’t to be is mean’t to be.” I love when things are out of my control.
I’ve got a lot to straighten out in my life. I’ve always put self reflection on the backburner but soon enough I’ll need to face things straight on.
My bad day is being followed with a good night,...
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I don’t know what has gotten into me lately. I can’t pin point what’s bringing on these feelings nor do I really want to try and figure it out. I would rather for things to blow over with time.
I guess it’s just a typical case of loneliness, of longing for something more then what I have. No matter what situation I feel put into I always feel second best. I can’t...
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I lost ten pounds since the 27th!! I’ve never actually lost weight before.
With my winter break wrapping up and my second semester swiftly approacting I’m feeling emotionally torn. I’m beginning to feel as if I have overstayed my welcome which is a sad feeling considering this is my home. I know it is not my parents intention to make me feel this way. It is easier though I’m sure with my brother and myself seperated.
Whoever said distance makes the...
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Fear is my biggest opponent. The constant feeling of fear is really what always stops me. It paralyzes me and drives me insane.
It’s difficult because I’m feeling myself entering a good place, but yet I’m absolutely petrified to even type that sentance because I don’t want the expecation now. It’s like I am now obligated to be happy and if I am not, I have myself to...
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December 2011
44 posts
Tomorrow night is New Years Eve and as tradition, I’m going to assess this past year.
As always, I’m a completely different person today compared to who I was a year ago. In many ways though, I’m exactly the same. One thing, is that I can’t wrap my head around the fact that at the beginning of 2011, I was still a high school student.
It’s hard to summarize a whole...
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In some ways, I should consider myself lucky. My life “struggles” are pretty consistent. Knock on wood, I have not been thrown many curve balls. If it’s even possible to classify, I would say my troubles are pretty predictable. I know what will upset me before the week even begins.
It is becoming redundant, but not easier. The pain has not lessened since it began and over 10...
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It’s Christmas Eve and I’m drunk. We just got home from the Torre’s and now I’m in my room crying. Weird, I know.
It just hit me though how much I really love my dad. I’m not a person that is able to express how I’m feeling. I’m exactly like my dad in that sense. Tonight I could just tell something was wrong and on his mind. I think it just really shook...
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I had written something last night that I never got around to posting. However, after the day I have had so far, I’ve discarded it. Every day is a new opportunity to make changes. Yesterday is the past and although those choices and experiences can not be altered, I need to keep the mindset that I have the power to change the present. Negativity can be prevented.
I will take fault and full...
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